wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
