They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
