How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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