Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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