She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
