We're like a lot better than the average bears
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
