Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
