I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I want her autograph on my taint
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
