the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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