last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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