Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
