I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I pour the whiskey from now on
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
