So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
