Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
