Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
