he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
