At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
