you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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