I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
