he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
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Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
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I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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