Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
