You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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