But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We just shotgunned beers for America
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OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
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apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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