I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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