Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
