I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize