That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
