I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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