i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
