I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I can't turn off my feet"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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