That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
