we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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