And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Houston, we have a blender
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Randomize
