Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Do vagina's smell?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
