Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
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Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
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The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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