so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
