my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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