do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize