Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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