You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
