Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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