Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
