just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
