it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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