First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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