Taylor Swift is so right about you.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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