well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
