Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Damn victory sex feels great
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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