if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
