we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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