Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
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How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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