Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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