Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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