Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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