Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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