He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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