Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
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Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
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And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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