We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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