i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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