I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
